The Relationships Thread of Discussing the Enigma that is Women

[TheKoopaDasher]

The problem I'm getting right now is that we're giving you advice, that objectively speaking isn't bad at all but simply requires work on your part to change yourself, and you are rejecting it!

I refuse to change myself for anyone but myself. I've done that before... tried to mold myself and shape myself into the person that someone else wanted me to be, and I was never happy. Of all the people I've known in relationships, the people who have to choose a version of themselves to show a person are never happy. I'm a firm believer in the "take me or leave me" view of relationships. If you enjoy spending time with me, and you want me in your life... fantastic. If you like bits and pieces of me, but wish that you could change a few things here and there... sorry. I've been there. Done that. I have no intention to putting myself in that position again. I would rather be single and who I am than be in a relationship but who I'm not.

[TheKoopaDasher]

Depends what you classify as a date. Just hanging out as friends doesn't really mean having a girlfriend. If you make it official and ask her out though, then you've got yourself a girlfriend.

See, that's where you've lost me. What qualifies as a "date"? This girl asked me to go on a hiking trip with her. Does that qualify as a "Date"? How would I even know? Are we just hanging out as friends? Again, how would I know? Where is the dividing line between "hanging out" and "date"? It makes no sense at all...

[HalfSwiss]

I refuse to change myself for anyone but myself. I've done that before... tried to mold myself and shape myself into the person that someone else wanted me to be, and I was never happy. Of all the people I've known in relationships, the people who have to choose a version of themselves to show a person are never happy. I'm a firm believer in the "take me or leave me" view of relationships. If you enjoy spending time with me, and you want me in your life... fantastic. If you like bits and pieces of me, but wish that you could change a few things here and there... sorry. I've been there. Done that. I have no intention to putting myself in that position again. I would rather be single and who I am than be in a relationship but who I'm not.

Well judging by a lot your posts, you're not very happy. Maybe you should change yourself for the sake of yourself.

[slimd1995]

Stop thinking about labels so much. It doesn't matter as much as you think it does.

[HalfSwiss]

See, that's where you've lost me. What qualifies as a "date"? This girl asked me to go on a hiking trip with her. Does that qualify as a "Date"? How would I even know? Are we just hanging out as friends? Again, how would I know? Where is the dividing line between "hanging out" and "date"? It makes no sense at all...

I wouldn't qualify something a date unless you're boyfriend/girlfriend, but that's just me.

[TheKoopaDasher]

Just hanging out as friends doesn't really mean having a girlfriend. If you make it official and ask her out though, then you've got yourself a girlfriend.

I wouldn't qualify something a date unless you're boyfriend/girlfriend, but that's just me.

Oh my god, the circular logic is killing my brain...

[TheKoopaDasher]

Well judging by a lot your posts, you're not very happy. Maybe you should change yourself for the sake of yourself.

What is "happy"? If happy is being stress free, I don't have that option. If happy is being able to do things that you enjoy, I don't have that amount of free time. If happy is being around people that you love, I haven't had that option in years. If happy is being appreciated, I don't have that either. Is happy being independent? I won't have that option for at least a year. Is happy having the ability to do what you want, when you want? That's a luxury I don't have.

It's very easy to tell people they should be happy. Far more difficult to define it and find a way to get it. For me, happiness involves a list of things I haven't had the option of possessing in several years, and I've lost several of the options I did have just in the last few months. We're all under stress right now. Even she's under stress. The difference is she keeps a positive attitude, while I struggle with that, and I always have.

[Daemon]

What is "happy"? If happy is being stress free, I don't have that option. If happy is being able to do things that you enjoy, I don't have that amount of free time. If happy is being around people that you love, I haven't had that option in years. If happy is being appreciated, I don't have that either. Is happy being independent? I won't have that option for at least a year. Is happy having the ability to do what you want, when you want? That's a luxury I don't have.

It's very easy to tell people they should be happy. Far more difficult to define it and find a way to get it. For me, happiness involves a list of things I haven't had the option of possessing in several years, and I've lost several of the options I did have just in the last few months. We're all under stress right now. Even she's under stress. The difference is she keeps a positive attitude, while I struggle with that, and I always have.

Oh god. You hurt my brain.

[stevencho]

Oh my god, the circular logic is killing my brain...

There isn't much logic with feelings. If you want to be more than friends then ask her out. However, if you value the friendship more and dont want to risk losing it than don't. Your choice

[Unknown Flames]

Depends what you classify as a date. Just hanging out as friends doesn't really mean having a girlfriend. If you make it official and ask her out though, then you've got yourself a girlfriend.

We've been on 2 dates now, one to the movies, and one of them was to the local carnival. I was just dating her for dating her you know? I'm not really into a long relationship right now, and I don't want her thinking that I'm game for it. I really enjoy the dates though, she's really cute and funny, and right now I'm just okay with meaningless dates. Right now I'm not in the mood for a "girlfriend" where I have to actually try and keep her and worry about her all day. I'm thinking of just telling her now that I don't want to get into anything serious.

[HalfSwiss]

What is "happy"? If happy is being stress free, I don't have that option. If happy is being able to do things that you enjoy, I don't have that amount of free time. If happy is being around people that you love, I haven't had that option in years. If happy is being appreciated, I don't have that either. Is happy being independent? I won't have that option for at least a year. Is happy having the ability to do what you want, when you want? That's a luxury I don't have.

It's very easy to tell people they should be happy. Far more difficult to define it and find a way to get it. For me, happiness involves a list of things I haven't had the option of possessing in several years, and I've lost several of the options I did have just in the last few months. We're all under stress right now. Even she's under stress. The difference is she keeps a positive attitude, while I struggle with that, and I always have.

I guess it's just easy for me to be happy. I don't know why. I try to think about what's good more often than what's bad. I don't like being around depressed people. A couple girls in my health class were talking about how depressed they were, and I honestly felt like an asshole when I told them that they should focus on the good things, they seemed like they just couldn't.

[Unknown Flames]

I guess it's just easy for me to be happy. I don't know why. I try to think about what's good more often than what's bad. I don't like being around depressed people. A couple girls in my health class were talking about how depressed they were, and I honestly felt like an asshole when I told them that they should focus on the good things, they seemed like they just couldn't.

Dude I'm a lot like that too, I'm usually a very mellow guy irl.

[HalfSwiss]

Dude I'm a lot like that too, I'm usually a very mellow guy irl.

Same man. If people make fun of me or something, I usually don't care. Like at all.

Also do girls like it when you're jokingly affectionate or whatever? Like I've told both these girls that we're best friends in a sort of playful way.

[Mariolee]

I refuse to change myself for anyone but myself. I've done that before... tried to mold myself and shape myself into the person that someone else wanted me to be, and I was never happy. Of all the people I've known in relationships, the people who have to choose a version of themselves to show a person are never happy. I'm a firm believer in the "take me or leave me" view of relationships. If you enjoy spending time with me, and you want me in your life... fantastic. If you like bits and pieces of me, but wish that you could change a few things here and there... sorry. I've been there. Done that. I have no intention to putting myself in that position again. I would rather be single and who I am than be in a relationship but who I'm not.

Then stop looking for a relationship, because being in a relationship requires not only physical and practical sacrifices, but personality ones as well. I'm not telling you to turn into Zac Efron, I'm telling you to change by your own accord naturally. If you aren't willing to improve yourself and mature, then stop asking for advice.

We've been on 2 dates now, one to the movies, and one of them was to the local carnival. I was just dating her for dating her you know? I'm not really into a long relationship right now, and I don't want her thinking that I'm game for it. I really enjoy the dates though, she's really cute and funny, and right now I'm just okay with meaningless dates. Right now I'm not in the mood for a "girlfriend" where I have to actually try and keep her and worry about her all day. I'm thinking of just telling her now that I don't want to get into anything serious.

She'll probably be ok with hanging out, but if she doesn't then it's probably one of those things where you can't have your cake and eat it too. I'm kinda in the same boat with you haha

[Mariolee]

Gave the girl the fake Bo Burnham CD Album that has a paper asking if she wanted to go to prom with me. She hasn't opened it yet as far as I know though. I'm literally exploding in excitement. There are body parts all over my bed room, and some of them aren't even mine.

[Unknown Flames]

Gave the girl the fake Bo Burnham CD Album that has a paper asking if she wanted to go to prom with me. She hasn't opened it yet as far as I know though. I'm literally exploding in excitement. There are body parts all over my bed room, and some of them aren't even mine.

Good for you man. I can't remember the last thing I did that would be considered romantic.

[HalfSwiss]

Gave the girl the fake Bo Burnham CD Album that has a paper asking if she wanted to go to prom with me. She hasn't opened it yet as far as I know though. I'm literally exploding in excitement. There are body parts all over my bed room, and some of them aren't even mine.

It sounds like you want to date this girl...

[Mariolee]

It sounds like you want to date this girl...

Honestly, I could see myself dating her, but I'm keeping myself from the dating scene until I graduate High School. God knows I don't need anymore distractions.

Good for you man. I can't remember the last thing I did that would be considered romantic.

Thanks man! Doing something romantic gives you an amazing feeling.

[TheKoopaDasher]

So we were talking last night about various things... turns out she loves me. Only then she specifically said that it was in a non-romantic, friends-only way. So who the fuck knows. Obviously I'm not getting anywhere.

[Unknown Flames]

So we were talking last night about various things... turns out she loves me. Only then she specifically said that it was in a non-romantic, friends-only way. So who the fuck knows. Obviously I'm not getting anywhere.

If you she says she loves you like a freind, she obviously doesn't think of you anything more than that. Unless you change her mind.

I highly suggest you don't rape her.