The Relationships Thread of Discussing the Enigma that is Women

[beardedwalrus]

Last night I was chilling out at the place where I take guitar lessons and hang out in my spare time, when this girl walked in. She looked about 15 (I just turned 16 to put that in perspective), and I thought she was super cute. Had the coolest look I've ever seen. Like, absolutely perfect combination between nerd and rocker. So naturally, I was checking her out the whole night, flirting, being all charming and whatnot. She seemed into me to so I was pretty stoked.

Turns out she's 12.

[super-mega-hyper-sonic]

Last night I was chilling out at the place where I take guitar lessons and hang out in my spare time, when this girl walked in. She looked about 15 (I just turned 16 to put that in perspective), and I thought she was super cute. Had the coolest look I've ever seen. Like, absolutely perfect combination between nerd and rocker. So naturally, I was checking her out the whole night, flirting, being all charming and whatnot. She seemed into me to so I was pretty stoked.

Turns out she's 12.

Hi, I'm Chris Hansen from dateline NBC. We need to have a chat.

[Daemon]

Turns out she's 12.

Don't even get me started on this topic. Parents - make your little girls look like little girls. Christ.

[beardedwalrus]

Don't even get me started on this topic. Parents - make your little girls look like little girls. Christ.

Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.

[Unknown Flames]

I think I said this before, but I almost dated a girl who I ended up realizing was 12 a while back.

Oh god

[Mariolee]

Last night I was chilling out at the place where I take guitar lessons and hang out in my spare time, when this girl walked in. She looked about 15 (I just turned 16 to put that in perspective), and I thought she was super cute. Had the coolest look I've ever seen. Like, absolutely perfect combination between nerd and rocker. So naturally, I was checking her out the whole night, flirting, being all charming and whatnot. She seemed into me to so I was pretty stoked.

Turns out she's 12.

I think I mentioned it in this thread, but I did the same thing with a 13 year old, and I'm 17. Gatdang.

[mchapra]

Paedophiles

[YoshiStar]

Yeah, it's a long post! BUT DON'T LEAVE YET! It would mean a lot to me if you guys could read my entire post and help me out here Don't be lazy!

Facebook Crush
It started when I was a sophomore in high school and she was still a freshman (she's one grade below me). Unfortunately, we didn't live in the same place ... I knew her because she used to live in the same town as me when we were younger. I didn't really talk to her much until after she moved. We started chatting on Facebook for like 8 hours a day or so. Then we started calling each other. So, like most relationships, it started off with us crushing on each other. Since I was a bit shy, she confessed to me and it began like that. Nothing very serious at this point. I mean, what do you expect? We started liking each other from talking on Facebook :P

Issues
Somehow, despite staying in different states, we lasted for two whole years. Our little crushes on each other developed into something a lot deeper. We'd talk everyday, video call everyday, send presents through mail, etc. Unfortunately, these two years were kind of on and off because of TWO ISSUES.

Issue 1: Long Distance
Of course this was the main issue. Over the course of the two years, I only got to meet her twice when she came to my city with her family to meet her old friends and relatives. It was very frustrating for me since I really want someone I can be with in PERSON. She was always fine with it, though. She'd always be like "Why does it matter so much? Atleast we're together!" and stuff. But it was a big deal for me. Although I try my best, I can't stand all the problems with long distance. I'm sure a lot of you understand.

Issue 2: Cultural Differences
Now I'm not so sure all of you have experienced this. I'm an Indian (as in from India) and she's a Nepali (from Nepal), so there are many cultural differences. Because of her strict, academic-focused family, she was forced to keep all this a SECRET. Yep ... Her family members don't want her involved in relationships when she could be studying, especially with a boy who isn't Nepali. I'm not 100 percent sure how strict they are about this, but it's in Nepali culture to marry other Nepali people to keep traditional values strong. She couldn't let a lot of her friends over there know because once the news gets to a Nepali person, there would be gossip and the information would somehow land up with her parents. I couldn't let my friends here know, because she has a Nepali circle here as well, and it would be bad for them to get a hold of this information. It was all very frustrating for me ... I'm just a guy who wants a normal relationship, you know? But I'm attached to her so I can't just let go, despite my attempts every now and then.

The Move
So finally, one day, she told me the news that she was moving back to my city. This made me extremely happy. So while I was a senior in high school, she'd be a junior in high school. Now that long distance was taken care of, the only problem remained was the fact that it was all a secret. Fortunately, we were able to go prom together and everything. Of course, we still had to act like we just friends .. extremely frustrating to both of us. Finally, after a year, I graduated high school.

The Present
So summer just recently started, and we're having some major problems. I'm going to be headed to college and she's going to have another year in high school. My college, unfortunately, is in another state about 4-5 hours away. I won't have a car my first year either, but I will come home every now and then to visit my family and hopefully visit her. I'm starting to wonder if all of this is even worth it. She thinks we'll somehow be able to survive through college (despite going to different colleges), let her parents know about us, and carry on with our lives. I'm a bit more realistic though. I want this to be WORTH it. I don't want a life full of stress. Here are what I think are the problems:

- She always wants to be in constant communication, but I'm a kind of guy that doesn't feel the need to talk as much to still love and be together. In fact, I don't like excessive communication, and that's been a problem of ours. In college, we'll have even LESS communication. I do NOT think she'll be able to take it when she can hardly take it right now.

- I'm going to be living 5 hours away without a car. I can't travel by myself whenever I want to. I'll have to get my brother to pick me up. So it's not very flexible and easy for me to meet her. So we'll hardly get to meet for a full four years.

- It's still a secret. She says she'll tell her parents years from now when she's in colelge, but I know that won't end well. What if it doesn't work out and they are completely against it? Then ALL of this would be a waste. And in my opinion, it's very likely too. She just wants to have faith that it'll all work out though.

There are more things too. So today we had a talk and we thought about breaking up. I thought that if we got over each other then life would be much happier for the both of us. We could find people we were more compatible with circumstance-wise. It's extremely hard for me to do this, of course. If we break up, she thinks she'll take about 3 years or so till she's over me. And I believe her since she's kinda clingy. So that makes me feel really bad ... But after a long heartfelt conversation she said she's willing to break up for me. But I don't even know anymore. I don't know if we should break up or stay together!! I want happiness in the end, but it doesn't seem like I'll get happiness either way And it makes me feel even worse that I have to make HER feel bad.

HELPPPP. BREAK UP OR STAY? OPINIONS. Sorry, this was a really long post.

[Unknown Flames]

Funny, I'm Indian and I've had a crush on a Nepali girl before.

[stevencho]

HELPPPP. BREAK UP OR STAY? OPINIONS. Sorry, this was a really long post.

Do what you want and what will be best for you. I'm getting the strong impression that the main reason you would stay would be for her, not you. You really should't have to sacrifice a lot of yourself in a relationship. Dont let a girl change your goals or ambitions. She should make you stronger, not doubt yourself.

[YoshiStar]

You may be right. But I don't get how she has so much hope and faith that it will all work out alright in the end. There can be bumps in a relationship, but these are just too many bumps. It makes me feel horrible that she thinks it'll work and I think it won't work and so I'm choosing to end the relationship. I wish she would have the same opinion as me. It just makes me so confused and gives me the idea that splitting up may be a wrong decision ... Makes it so much harder. But I think I'm right. It's just too many bumps.

[stevencho]

You may be right. But I don't get how she has so much hope and faith that it will all work out alright in the end. There can be bumps in a relationship, but these are just too many bumps. It makes me feel horrible that she thinks it'll work and I think it won't work and so I'm choosing to end the relationship. I wish she would have the same opinion as me. It just makes me so confused and gives me the idea that splitting up may be a wrong decision ... Makes it so much harder. But I think I'm right. It's just too many bumps.

Even if it was perfectly mutual, breaking up is NEVER easy. And it's never perfectly mutual. Someone is going to hurt a little more than the other. But do what you think will be the best for both of you guys in the long run.

[YoshiStar]

Broke up ... man it's hard ...

[stevencho]

Broke up ... man it's hard ...

I'm sorry man. But it seemed like it was for the best for both of you.

[YoshiStar]

New problem, though. She told me to block her number in advance because she was gonna break down and send me all sorts of texts and stuff. I tried to download an app for it but her texts are still coming through somehow :S Uh oh! I'll figure this out...

[beardedwalrus]

You guys remember that girl that I've been hopelessly in love with for the past 3 years or so? The one that locked me in the friend zone and threw away the key a looong time ago? Well, the second chance with her that I've been waiting for for what seems like forever has finally arrived. I'm going to her place Monday, and unlike every other time where we've spent time together, this time I'm not in the friend zone. In fact, I've somehow manage to flip the whole spectrum and go into the "I want to make out with this guy for hours" zone. I don't have any clue how I managed to pull that off, but yeah, that's the current situation. So needless to say I'm nervous as fuck. It's inevitable that we're going to kiss, and when it does, one of two things is going to happen: Either one, I nail it, and she's mine. Or two, I let my nerves get the best of me, fuck it up, and that ship will sail for good. You guys know of any remedies for a violent case of I-hope-I-don't-majorly-fuck-this-up syndrome?

[stevencho]

You guys remember that girl that I've been hopelessly in love with for the past 3 years or so? The one that locked me in the friend zone and threw away the key a looong time ago? Well, the second chance with her that I've been waiting for for what seems like forever has finally arrived. I'm going to her place Monday, and unlike every other time where we've spent time together, this time I'm not in the friend zone. In fact, I've somehow manage to flip the whole spectrum and go into the "I want to make out with this guy for hours" zone. I don't have any clue how I managed to pull that off, but yeah, that's the current situation. So needless to say I'm nervous as fuck. It's inevitable that we're going to kiss, and when it does, one of two things is going to happen: Either one, I nail it, and she's mine. Or two, I let my nerves get the best of me, fuck it up, and that ship will sail for good. You guys know of any remedies for a violent case of I-hope-I-don't-majorly-fuck-this-up syndrome?

Get plenty of sleep and try to not overthink it.

[YoshiStar]

Just don't get nervous and be forceful. The kiss will come naturally.

[YamiGekusu]

It's been over a year since I had the confidence to tell him how I felt. Totally worth it.

[beardedwalrus]

So yesterday was interesting. The plan was that I was gonna go to her place somewhat early, hang out for a few hours before going to a show I was playing that night, and then after I was planning on taking her to dinner and hopefully kiss her after and seal the deal. I didn't tell her about the dinner thing, I wanted it to be fairly spontaneous.

What wound up happening was her spontaneously inviting my best friend to the show, which ruined my plans for after. And since he doesn't have his license, she drove him there and back. And on the way back she pressured him into making out til he caved.

I'm done. I went ahead and blocked her on facebook and cut ties. I legitimately had no idea she was that big of a whore. Icky.