The Relationships Thread of Discussing the Enigma that is Women

[BioHazard-92]

Be jealous bitches.

[madoublex]

Be jealous bitches.

What the hell does this have to do with anything?

[BioHazard-92]

What the hell does this have to do with anything?

It's what my gf's getting me for Valentines Day! The first edition bundle!!

[TheKoopaDasher]

Allow me to update you all on my situation.

Right now I'm struggling between two emotional planes.

On one hand, there is a girl whose personality I absolutely adore. Most people would not see her as "Beautiful", or even "Attractive", but every time I see her my heart beats a little faster. I think she's beautiful. I think she's funny. I think she is one of the most incredible people I've ever met. And, to my knowledge, she's single. But the chances of anything happening are slim. Very slim. For one thing, I think she sees me as a joke more than anything. But then some days she'll talk to me and we'll be laughing and she'll look at me with the deepest expression on her face, like she wants more. But overall, it's an awkward situation, and there's a bit of an age difference there. Nothing impossible, or even "nasty", but certainly enough to be improbable.

Then there's another girl that I really like. She's kind and generous and smart and caring and has such a giving spirit. And I think she likes me. But... she's religious. And as much as I like her, I know there will come a time when she asks me to go to church with her, and I say no, and it's over. So I'm struggling with that. I want to be with her, and I think she wants to be with me, maybe, but she also doesn't know that I'm not a Christian.

Strange days, my friends... strange days.

[Ienzo]

I know this person, K, in real life. He knows me. Does he know who I am? Time will tell. I'm bored and I feel i'll stir things up a bit around here.

Listen, K, Yin's calling. Get back to your normal self. Wake up! Lives are at stake. Forget what happened five years ago, you can't keep living in the past. The Kamn will arise within you.

[TheWorldEndsWithI]

Reality is 99% perception. Even if he is lying, if he believes it and it helps him get through what, in my experience reading his posts, is undoubtedly just as frustrating an existence as the rest of us lead, who are we to condemn him for it?

A forum filled with intelligent people? No trolling for me, i'm going to lurk.

[madoublex]

A forum filled with intelligent people? No trolling for me, i'm going to lurk.

Glad to see a change of heart, welcome!

[TheKoopaDasher]

So... I have an issue.

I asked a girl out on a date. We're the same age. She's in my major at college. I sent her an email (I don't have any other way to contact her) and asked her if she would like to have dinner with me after our college class one night. I told her several times that I would really like to see her, that I've missed her, and that dinner would be my treat, if she would just tell me what food she prefers.

She initially said no. She said that she needs to go to church. That membership is really low right now, and she's the President of the campus Christian group, and they really need her to be there. I understood. It means a lot to her. She had asked if there was another day that I can meet, but unfortunately I have a three-hour commute, so I can't meet another other day.

When she found out about the commute, her attitude changed from "No, I can't meet" to "Let me see if I can get out of this one night". I went on to tell her that she doesn't need to do that, because I know how much the church means to her and I'm not about to ask her to skip church just for me. She talks about that church all the time... that group of people is pretty much the main reason she decided to continue on into graduate school. She loves that place. I would have felt awful for her to skip it because of me.

But then she emails me back, and says that there is a guest speaker one night that she's not thrilled about, so she can have dinner with me then, two weeks from now. But then... she went on to say that we should eat on campus, because she has a lot of meal plan money left to use.

What gives? Is this still a date? I told her that it was my treat... hint hint I'm paying hint hint. Why would she turn around and tell me that she's paying? Is that her hint that it's NOT a date? Does she not REALIZE it's a date? Should I TELL her it's a date?

Thoughts?

[Mariolee]

So... I have an issue.

I asked a girl out on a date. We're the same age. She's in my major at college. I sent her an email (I don't have any other way to contact her) and asked her if she would like to have dinner with me after our college class one night. I told her several times that I would really like to see her, that I've missed her, and that dinner would be my treat, if she would just tell me what food she prefers.

She initially said no. She said that she needs to go to church. That membership is really low right now, and she's the President of the campus Christian group, and they really need her to be there. I understood. It means a lot to her. She had asked if there was another day that I can meet, but unfortunately I have a three-hour commute, so I can't meet another other day.

When she found out about the commute, her attitude changed from "No, I can't meet" to "Let me see if I can get out of this one night". I went on to tell her that she doesn't need to do that, because I know how much the church means to her and I'm not about to ask her to skip church just for me. She talks about that church all the time... that group of people is pretty much the main reason she decided to continue on into graduate school. She loves that place. I would have felt awful for her to skip it because of me.

But then she emails me back, and says that there is a guest speaker one night that she's not thrilled about, so she can have dinner with me then, two weeks from now. But then... she went on to say that we should eat on campus, because she has a lot of meal plan money left to use.

What gives? Is this still a date? I told her that it was my treat... hint hint I'm paying hint hint. Why would she turn around and tell me that she's paying? Is that her hint that it's NOT a date? Does she not REALIZE it's a date? Should I TELL her it's a date?

Thoughts?

Don't overthink this. Just go and see what happens. You don't always have to pay on a date. If you really insist on going out, then just insist that you'd "pay for the date".

[TheKoopaDasher]

Don't overthink this. Just go and see what happens. You don't always have to pay on a date. If you really insist on going out, then just insist that you'd "pay for the date".

That is... incredibly vague and answers none of my questions.

[super-mega-hyper-sonic]

Me and this girl are getting really close. We see each other often and make each other laugh all the time. She has a great personality and we have a lot in common. We even hug often and she signs her messages with multiple kisses most of the time. Does she want a relationship or am I getting friendzoned to the fucking max?

[roza]

Me and this girl are getting really close. We see each other often and make each other laugh all the time. She has a great personality and we have a lot in common. We even hug often and she signs her messages with multiple kisses most of the time. Does she want a relationship or am I getting friendzoned to the fucking max?

That's what has happened with most girls I have liked.... and honestly... it's about 50/50.... but if you don't act and she does liek you... it's friend zone... if you act and it's already friend zone... it's awkward as

[Mariolee]

Me and this girl are getting really close. We see each other often and make each other laugh all the time. She has a great personality and we have a lot in common. We even hug often and she signs her messages with multiple kisses most of the time. Does she want a relationship or am I getting friendzoned to the fucking max?

Ask her out on a date.

[HalfSwiss]

I feel like every time I find someone I'm interested in, I stop caring too soon. Becoming more confident, though, so that's a plus I guess.

[stevencho]

Be jealous bitches.

You want me to be jealous that you have 350 bucks?

What gives? Is this still a date? I told her that it was my treat... hint hint I'm paying hint hint. Why would she turn around and tell me that she's paying? Is that her hint that it's NOT a date? Does she not REALIZE it's a date? Should I TELL her it's a date?

Thoughts?

I thought you didn't believe in traditional dates?

[Mariolee]

That is... incredibly vague and answers none of my questions.

Just take her on her offer and see how it goes. Since it's apparent that she wants to pay, let her.

[YamiGekusu]

Got to hang out with the boyfriend today.

He wrote me a poem. Which surprised the hell out of me at first (since I know he usually is not very good at writing poetry; even though we took creative writing class together in high school) but when I read it...

I was tearing up. It was beautiful. The poem (at the end) told me to turn around and I just gave my boyfriend a hug and cried.

(Funny thing about myself, I have a little personal rule where I try to not show emotion around people, but this time I just couldn't help it; the poem was just plain beautiful)

I love him. (Six months strong!)

[TheKoopaDasher]

Well... I told the girl I was interested in how I felt about her. But let's back up for a second.

On Valentine's Day Eve night, I sent her a poem. It was a really long poem, about a hypothetical, fantasy situation where I was an Indiana Jones/Han Solo style character that tried over and over again to bring her the world's best gift for Valentine's Day, but something always went wrong with every plan. It was more of a humorous tragedy tale than anything, mocking myself for my own klutziness.

She read it, and her first response was "Wow...". Followed shortly after by "Did you write this yourself?" and "I'm flattered... really". That was her entire response, in a nutshell.

I went on to send her a picture of the bouquet of 24 origami roses that I made her in her favorite color. I told her that, given that we're so far apart in terms of our commute, she will have to wait until the day of class to receive them. She never replied. She has been on Facebook three times since I sent that message, and she posted more than one status every time. One of those statuses was even ABOUT Valentine's Day, and how she's spending it alone watching Jeopardy. But she never replied to my message about the flowers.

I spoke to a mutual friend about the situation. She was very supportive. She actually said she thought we would make a great couple, and that I should be firmly honest with this girl and tell her upfront how I felt. So I did.

I sent her a message and told her how I felt about her, and how I would like to have an attempt at a relationship with her. I told her that she means a lot to me, and I have yet to see anything about her that I don't like, and I would love nothing more than to get to know her better. I told her that I would like to try a relationship, and I was putting everything I have on the table, and if she was interested, she could take it.

She hasn't responded. She has been on Facebook three times since THAT message, and one of them was even an enigmatic post of a music video saying something along the lines of "This video always makes my day better, but I especially need it today". No response to my heartfelt message.

__________
| REJECTED!|

[stevencho]

__________
| REJECTED!|

Ah well man. At least you were man enough to try. Maybe the next one

[Nerdysimmer]

Ugh. People.

You want a meaningful relationship with another?

Are you interested in getting to know her better, how she thinks and what she does in her spare time, or even what she wants to do with her life? Talk to her as if you want to be friendly with her, not as if you want to stick it in her. You can't force these feelings down, otherwise you'll be thinking way too hard about how you want the relationship to play out, and she'll be shocked by the turn of events.

Also, SHOW THAT YOU CARE IN PERSON. Seriously, texting your confession to her, stuffing a note in her locker or underneath her car's windshield wiper, or sending a long meaningful poem, short story, novel, or something else that indirectly tells her that you're interested in her is one of the worst ways of expressing interest. This isn't elementary school anymore.

I seriously think that the best relationships come from being good friends at first and slowly open up. You have to understand that people have pretty sensitive feelings that they keep to themselves, and some people don't want to commit their lives for another, for many reasons really. Some of which include that they feel that staying with one person will end up annoying them in the end, or they have some fear of having themselves being cheated on, something to that effect. You have to show them you are the type of person who doesn't fulfill those things.

Point is, if you are interested in the person you want to commit a relationship toward, don't think that way immediately. Talk to her as if she was a good friend, and you two will gradually become closer to each other. One of the best signs that a relationship could work is if your conversations become more intimate as time goes on. And if nothing worth noting comes out of the friendship and she forces you into the friendzone, just move on (and who knows, she may panic and try to get in touch with you if at any point you stop talking to her.)

People need to be patient about forming relationships with one another, the love at first sight crap is bullshit.