The Relationships Thread of Discussing the Enigma that is Women

[Vengeance]

Alright. This is good actually.

I am in a crush over a girl. A strong crush, not a weak "high school" crush, but like a very strong crush on her. I think she likes me. We have had one date, and I really want to ask the question, but I am unsure how to ask her. I am thinking of asking her to Harry Potter this weekend since we both are wanting to see it and everything. But I am unsure whether to continue to wait and ask her out after the movie or should I pop the question before then? I am unsure about when I should pop the question. Any advice here?

The only question you should be wondering about is "why the fuck should I not?".

[Vengeance]

Mind PMing it to me?

I don't really see any point of sending it to one person, especially since I'm not looking for advice.

[Mariolee]

You generally don't have sex with a friend.

Generally. But if you're looking into a relationship mostly for sex, you really shouldn't be in that relationship at all.

[Eggboy'13]

The only question you should be wondering about is "why the fuck should I not?".

Agreed. If you can muster it up, go for it. You'll be proud of yourself.

[Flexx]

You generally don't have sex with a friend.

But...but it's great f--

Anyways, here's a question about relationships I think we all can relate to...how in the fuck did Russel Brand manage to snatch up Katy Perry?

[YamiGekusu]

I remember assholes in high school used to say that they'd have to be stupid and high to like me. Those people were assholes. *sigh*

I have the worst luck with people because 1) I'm shy, and 2) I'm incredibly nerdy.

[KoopaDasher]

I have the worst luck with people because 1) I'm shy, and 2) I'm incredibly nerdy.

God yes. This times ten. I can't meet anyone at all for these two reasons. That, and I've spent the last 5 years in the science department, where girls only exist theoretically, and even then only in the biology department in genetics labs.

[stevencho]

I still put the same amount of kisses at the end of my messages but she seems to only really do it at the beginning and end of our chat, now, I don't think this is intentional because she still does it when chatting only it appears to be very infrequent. Also, we used to put hearts at the end of our chats and now I seem to be the only one doing it...

She's nicely telling you that she thinks your obsession with kissy hearts is kind of a turn off.

Ok, so the girl I was talking about in Slyder's thread, the one who my best friend kissed, just told me she "loved" me today. I think I'm going to break up with her

When a teenage girl says she loves you, you can pretty much just assume that they really just like you and think you're cool. If you assume that they mean more you're just gonna be dissapointed.

Lets review every single relationship I've pursued, shall we?
Women suck.
End of freaking story.

Most women suck. But before you end your story you should know that there are women out there who are real gems and once you find her you're gonna love her more than you ever loved anything before.

I'm only 14,

I need wisdom.

Grow a pair and come back when you're old enough for a real relationship.

But to men who afraid to talk to girls, dont be. Most of the time you have nothing to really lose anyways. I'm sure a lot of us here have been rejected at least once or twice.

He's right. You will get more asking even if you get rejected most of the time than not asking at all. Cuz there will be that eventual yes.

My most recent failure:

so I can only assume she doesn't give a f#$%.

You didn't do anything wrong. She took advantage of you. You're a smart guy koopa. You're gonna find someone who's gonna appreciate all that you have to offer.

Alright. This is good actually.

I am in a crush over a girl. A strong crush, not a weak "high school" crush, but like a very strong crush on her. I think she likes me. We have had one date, and I really want to ask the question, but I am unsure how to ask her. I am thinking of asking her to Harry Potter this weekend since we both are wanting to see it and everything. But I am unsure whether to continue to wait and ask her out after the movie or should I pop the question before then? I am unsure about when I should pop the question. Any advice here?

I'd hold out and get to know her better. From what you're saying I'm getting the impression you barely know her.

Luckily, she isn't seeing anyone at the moment, but I still can't admit to her how I feel. Any ideas, guys?

You need to tell her and here what she says. Seriously, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life if you dont. You'll always be wondering if she wouldve said yes.

She says she knows she'll like it.. but I don't know whether she's saying that just to be nice...

Probably.

----

As for me, I love my girlfriend and couldn't be happier.

[shadysaiyan]

Unlike you shy guys im not a shy, i stopped being shy sometime during high school but i've been out of that since 2007. i'm outgoing and an awesomely nice person and i'm charismatic apparently but im pretty much a funny guy.

I just got a girlfriend last month. Actually this girl i've been chasing for over half a year. Finally she was just a friend that was there when i first met her in like October last year and i didn't start liking her till March or April. She was taken before (twice/both had history with her) but that changed and i've been there for her for the longest tiem so she decided she wanted to finally be with a good guy i feel so lucky not to rub it in.

boldness and the lack of caring what others think when you try talking to them goes a long way because it's pretty easy to meet new people and make friends when you just burst into their atmosphere. But yeah, its going good btw.

[KoopaDasher]

Not that it's anything to go crazy over, but I just had the most amazing time with this girl that I've been head over heels over for like a year and a half now. Sure, she's the same girl that I found out not two months ago said she could never date me because I'm an inch shorter than she is, but even so, having really great conversations and laugh riots with her just makes my day.

[shadysaiyan]

Cause you'ree an inch shorter? WTF, sorry but thats a bitch-like excuse.

[KoopaDasher]

Cause you'ree an inch shorter? WTF, sorry but thats a bitch-like excuse.

I don't claim to understand it. Even our mutual friends say we should be together, and a friend of mine that didn't know her thought we were dating, just from seeing us together. But we're not... 1) she doesn't find me physically attractive and 2) We're good friends, and she has stated many times that she refuses to date friends. I've been up and down over this girl since the day I met her, but nothing has ever come of it.

[shadysaiyan]

I don't claim to understand it. Even our mutual friends say we should be together, and a friend of mine that didn't know her thought we were dating, just from seeing us together. But we're not... 1) she doesn't find me physically attractive and 2) We're good friends, and she has stated many times that she refuses to date friends. I've been up and down over this girl since the day I met her, but nothing has ever come of it.

Well with all that, i think if luck is on your side, you'll find yourself with this girl. pretty much all that expect is what happened with me and my girlfriend now even before everyone thought we were dating fro months. i don't think she thought i was ugly though.

[KoopaDasher]

Well with all that, i think if luck is on your side, you'll find yourself with this girl. pretty much all that expect is what happened with me and my girlfriend now even before everyone thought we were dating fro months. i don't think she thought i was ugly though.

I would like to think so, but this girl is either completely oblivious as to my affections, or chooses to ignore them for the sake of the friendship. I'm always there for her... when she reaches the lowest points of her life, she comes to me. When she doesn't know where to turn, she turns to me. When she needs advice, she comes to ask me. We make each other laugh, and our chemistry is incredible. She tells me all the time that she loves my personality, that she loves my goofiness, that she loves how crazy I am. But I know she doesn't mean anything more than just friends. Why? Because she also chooses to tell me about every guy she goes for, and how it always fails with those guys. She always asks me for advice as to what to say to win over different guys. When she's really happy she'll say she's looking for her Prince Charming, that she doesn't want to settle for anything less than the guy she's always thought she would be with. When she's down and depressed, she says she will die alone, and that every guy she goes for doesn't want her, and no guy appreciates her, and that she will simply be a crazy cat lady. I've told her over and over and over again what an incredible girl she is, how any guy that can't see that doesn't deserve her, but all it seems to do is lift her spirits. She never sees me as possible material. Or if she does, she never shows it. I just hear about every new guy she meets, I watch her eyes light up when she talks about them, and then I sit there and listen when each one in turn ends up being trash, and she decides yet again that she will die alone. Most recently a mutual female friend told me that they had been discussing me, apparently while having a girl conversation about possible guys to date. According to the friend, this girl really does love me dearly as a friend... she thinks the world of me. But she's not physically attracted to me. I mean, this girl is beautiful... completely out of my league physically... she could get any guy she wants, because every guy she meets wants to get in her pants. Me? I'm not material for her. Why would she go for me? I'm shorter than she is. She prefers tall guys. Why would she go for me when she could have every tall guy in the state drooling over her? That's the state I'm in... completely in love with a girl who will never take me because I don't meet her high physical expectations.

[Mariolee]

I would like to think so, but this girl is either completely oblivious as to my affections, or chooses to ignore them for the sake of the friendship. I'm always there for her... when she reaches the lowest points of her life, she comes to me. When she doesn't know where to turn, she turns to me. When she needs advice, she comes to ask me. We make each other laugh, and our chemistry is incredible. She tells me all the time that she loves my personality, that she loves my goofiness, that she loves how crazy I am. But I know she doesn't mean anything more than just friends. Why? Because she also chooses to tell me about every guy she goes for, and how it always fails with those guys. She always asks me for advice as to what to say to win over different guys. When she's really happy she'll say she's looking for her Prince Charming, that she doesn't want to settle for anything less than the guy she's always thought she would be with. When she's down and depressed, she says she will die alone, and that every guy she goes for doesn't want her, and no guy appreciates her, and that she will simply be a crazy cat lady. I've told her over and over and over again what an incredible girl she is, how any guy that can't see that doesn't deserve her, but all it seems to do is lift her spirits. She never sees me as possible material. Or if she does, she never shows it. I just hear about every new guy she meets, I watch her eyes light up when she talks about them, and then I sit there and listen when each one in turn ends up being trash, and she decides yet again that she will die alone. Most recently a mutual female friend told me that they had been discussing me, apparently while having a girl conversation about possible guys to date. According to the friend, this girl really does love me dearly as a friend... she thinks the world of me. But she's not physically attracted to me. I mean, this girl is beautiful... completely out of my league physically... she could get any guy she wants, because every guy she meets wants to get in her pants. Me? I'm not material for her. Why would she go for me? I'm shorter than she is. She prefers tall guys. Why would she go for me when she could have every tall guy in the state drooling over her? That's the state I'm in... completely in love with a girl who will never take me because I don't meet her high physical expectations.

If you still have feelings for her, and would like some advice, unspoiler the rest of my comment:

Don't force it Koopa. Holy crap, this sounds just like me and another girl. Really, physically, mentally, socially, and pretty much in everything, we were supposed to be compatible. She really really liked me, and I really liked her...as a friend. Everyone said we should be together, and she started madly implying it, which got kinda annoying. I just didn't like her that way. But still, she kept asking her friends to tell me that she liked me. You know what I did? I reluctantly asked her out, just so that everyone would be happy.
I was kinda miserable. Sure we had fun times, but that was only when we did the stuff we used to do as only friends, When it came to relationship stuff, I hated it, since I didn't feel the same way toward her.

So don't be the girl that I went out with, because it'll just ruin your friendship.

In searching for a relationship, you must realize that sometimes, you have to move on. The person you're crushing on knows how they themselves feel. Don't even attempt to think that they're "wrong" about how they feel. If she doesn't like you, then move on. I know it's hard, but there are other girls. She may or may not come back to you, that's her choice. Let her make it by herself. You don't truly want to spend your time waiting for her when you can find another.

Compatibility doesn't equal love.

[shadysaiyan]

I would like to think so, but this girl is either completely oblivious as to my affections, or chooses to ignore them for the sake of the friendship. I'm always there for her... when she reaches the lowest points of her life, she comes to me. When she doesn't know where to turn, she turns to me. When she needs advice, she comes to ask me. We make each other laugh, and our chemistry is incredible. She tells me all the time that she loves my personality, that she loves my goofiness, that she loves how crazy I am. But I know she doesn't mean anything more than just friends. Why? Because she also chooses to tell me about every guy she goes for, and how it always fails with those guys. She always asks me for advice as to what to say to win over different guys. When she's really happy she'll say she's looking for her Prince Charming, that she doesn't want to settle for anything less than the guy she's always thought she would be with. When she's down and depressed, she says she will die alone, and that every guy she goes for doesn't want her, and no guy appreciates her, and that she will simply be a crazy cat lady. I've told her over and over and over again what an incredible girl she is, how any guy that can't see that doesn't deserve her, but all it seems to do is lift her spirits. She never sees me as possible material. Or if she does, she never shows it. I just hear about every new guy she meets, I watch her eyes light up when she talks about them, and then I sit there and listen when each one in turn ends up being trash, and she decides yet again that she will die alone. Most recently a mutual female friend told me that they had been discussing me, apparently while having a girl conversation about possible guys to date. According to the friend, this girl really does love me dearly as a friend... she thinks the world of me. But she's not physically attracted to me. I mean, this girl is beautiful... completely out of my league physically... she could get any guy she wants, because every guy she meets wants to get in her pants. Me? I'm not material for her. Why would she go for me? I'm shorter than she is. She prefers tall guys. Why would she go for me when she could have every tall guy in the state drooling over her? That's the state I'm in... completely in love with a girl who will never take me because I don't meet her high physical expectations.

Weird how most of that sounded like my situation. (excluding the phyiscal stuff). It was the same for me because my girl had big feelings for me, yet didn't want to be with me yet because well im different and im pretty much an overall good guy. She was going for the douchy i liike drugs guys for soem reason because thats what she was accustomed too and it was just in her history. Everyone, family and all would ask her why she wasn't with me instead of the tards she usually chases. she would make excuses or agree and and just do what she usually would do and chase the assholes while i stand by and catch her while she falls, make her laugh, and be a piece of her world. Now when it was my birthday, she got me a this cool ass man bracelet. i don't wear jewelery, but i liked it and it was a present and from her so i wore it and still do, that was back in august. we were still friends but she would still not make up her mind as to what to what i would be to her and yeah i've expressed my feelings to her before that a couple times and of course it went in one eart and out the other but she heard it. anyway, after she got me that i would think somethine bigger would come into place but no, the same thing still just went like usualy and she went and got another guy, but when i would ask her what the point of giving my a present was she would just say it was "something" like i was supposed to know what that meant even though she didnt. (note she never gets anyone presents or gifts). but after she broke up with hr current bf at the time after 2 months, i was there but she didn't care that much cause he wasa stupid douche who put in her in some trouble. she still has a priorhistory of the bf f=bofroe that that she just couldn't let go of till around her bday where he txts her and tells her some fucked up shit about how he banged some chicka nd is having a kid and all this other stuff (note theu broke up but she still loved him and he is in another state). so that melted her down and i was there (along with a new dude she was chashing) but i was there comforting her and had aher back like always. so a couple weeks after that annd she had calmed down (plus news that that exs baby was a miscarry) she got with me after a new friend of hers said retty much what everyone else had been saying, go with me.

Now we are happy and she really misses me like i miss her, but she i see mr ex pop up on her stuff and she tells me he sends her random miss you messages. she doesnt tell me everything written, just blahs through stuff and then tells me shes over him but still, why have him in he position to still be able to contact you right?

All is good for now though id say, it's on her whether she wants us to last because she knows im in it 100%.

--Koopa, does sound like you're messing with a model though, but here's a protip. If you guys hangout and talk alot, then ask her what she would do if you weren't around her anymore and decided not to talk to her. Might make her think.

[Mariolee]

--Koopa, does sound like you're messing with a model though, but here's a protip. If you guys hangout and talk alot, then ask her what she would do if you weren't around her anymore and decided not to talk to her. Might make her think.

That's not really fair to her. He's a fantastic friend, someone she can talk to, express her feelings with, someone who won't bring her relationship drama and crap. Of course she wouldn't want that gone, but that doesn't necessarily mean she wants to date him.
If you've already asked her if she wanted to date you and she said no, let it be. She'll come to you if she discovers that she really wants you.

[Phoenix]

Well... My relationship with my girlfriend was awesome... until she left the country, now I am uncapable to open to someone else, and the worst thing is that she already moved on...

I need advice.

[shadysaiyan]

That's not really fair to her. He's a fantastic friend, someone she can talk to, express her feelings with, someone who won't bring her relationship drama and crap. Of course she wouldn't want that gone, but that doesn't necessarily mean she wants to date him.

Don't assume the meaning to my words kid.

@Phoenix - That freaking sucks ass. Well if you've got lots of friends id advise you try hanging out with them more and getting her off your chest so when you've said enough and you've seen other girls that are attractive to you you can go for them and leave the last girl in the past. it'll take a while though. if you don't have a lot of friends then i'd suggest trying to make new ones with people at your work/school.

[HellKnight]

I would really like to contribute to this thread but I can't really relate. I have never really had trouble with woman, I'm generally a pretty outgoing guy and I have no shame whatsoever (helps a bunch).

I have been with my current girlfriend (Shell) for just over 3 years now, we are like a married couple its been that long. We met at University when I was in London. She is from Seattle and was studying Law and criminology at University College London and came over to LA to study at the same time as me.

She earns $92,000 per year and pays for my Blu Ray addiction and most of our beautiful apartment, so i generally say nice things about her